As leaders, we often hear the phrase, “People don’t fail; systems fail.”

If we’re being honest, sometimes people do fall short. They miss deadlines, overlook responsibilities, or struggle to meet expectations.
And when that happens, it can be hard to understand why.
Is this a system problem? A people problem? Or maybe a bit of both?

The way we respond in these moments defines the culture we are creating.
Will we be a team where failure is feared and hidden?
Or will we build a place where failure becomes a catalyst for growth?

Let’s dig into the truth: People will fail. Systems will fail. Leaders will fail.
The real leadership art is recognizing why failure happened — and leading with grace and clarity when it does.

Step One: Understand Why People Fail

Before rushing to fix the problem, wise leaders take a step back and ask the deeper question: What led to the failure?

Here are some common root causes:

• Lack of clarity: People can’t succeed if they don’t clearly understand the purpose and goal.

• Lack of skill: They understood the task, but didn’t have the tools or training to execute it.

• Overwhelm: Even the best employees can crumble under unrealistic workloads.

• Misalignment: Sometimes a person is simply in a role that doesn’t match their strengths.

• Personal challenges: Life outside of work impacts performance more than we know.

• Poor systems: A broken or missing system left them guessing (or setting their own standards).

When we pause to investigate with curiosity instead of judgment, we almost always find that failure is more complicated than it looks on the surface.

The Urgency Trap

Years ago, when I was a new principal, I learned the hard way that urgency without structure creates chaos.
When an issue popped up, I often walked straight into teachers' classrooms to address it — no warning, no scheduled meeting, just my full leadership "energy" barging in.
I meant well — I was busy, and I truly cared about solving problems quickly — but I didn’t realize the damage it was causing.

I wasn't trying to be unkind. I was overwhelmed, managing endless tasks, trying to stay on top of it all. But my urgency, no matter how well-intentioned, chipped away at trust. People felt blindsided and defensive, not supported or seen.

I had to learn that leading well doesn’t mean addressing everything immediately.
It means leading with intentionality, protecting relationships, and creating safe spaces for real conversations. 

Leadership isn't just about addressing problems. It's about how we address them. I'm still learning that lesson today.

Step Two: Ask the Right Questions

When something goes wrong, it’s tempting to ask who failed.
But the better leadership question is: What failed?

Here’s a simple way to start:

• Was the expectation clear?

• Was the training sufficient?

• Was the support adequate?

• Was the system effective?

• Was the person positioned in a role that matches their strengths?

If the answer to any of these questions is "no," then part of the failure belongs to the structure, not just the person.

Step Three: Create a Culture Where Failure Isn’t Feared

When failure becomes something to fear, it leads to cover-ups, blame-shifting, and a toxic culture where trust withers.
But when failure is met with honest reflection and clear next steps, it strengthens the team.

Leaders set the tone:

• Normalize mistakes by being honest about your own.

• Focus on learning, not labeling.

• Coach before you correct.

• Praise the effort to improve, not just the outcomes.

A Serious Mistake and a Graceful Response

During my time as a principal, there was a day when a new young teacher forgot to count her five-year-olds after recess, accidentally leaving a child outside, knocking on the door to get back in. It was a terrible mistake. 

But instead of instantly shaming, I made the teacher call the parents herself, apologize, and assure them that we were putting new protocols in place immediately. We took the situation seriously — because it was serious.

We also used the moment to step back and look at where we had gaps — in our training, our systems, and our onboarding process. It wasn’t just about one person’s mistake; it was about making sure we were setting everyone up for success.

Accountability and grace aren’t opposites. They’re partners.

Step Four: Hold Grace and Accountability Together

Grace doesn’t mean lowering the bar. Accountability doesn’t mean crushing people when they fall short.
Real leadership holds both in balance.

When someone fails:

1. Acknowledge the mistake: Don't gloss over it.

2. Offer grace: Assume positive intent until proven otherwise.

3. Diagnose together: Invite them into the conversation about what went wrong.

4. Define clear next steps: Growth always needs a direction.

5. Follow up: Restoration and trust are built over time, not in a single conversation.

Step Five: Strengthen the System

Sometimes individual failure points to something deeper that needs fixing.

Strong leaders ask:

• What system allowed this to happen?

• How can we build a structure that prevents this in the future?

• What training, support, or checkpoints are missing?

Strong systems protect people. Weak systems leave people exposed.

You’re Leading the Way

If you're reading this, you're already the kind of leader who cares about doing this well.
You know that failure — whether personal or structural — doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
In fact, it’s often the beginning of the best chapters of growth.

So the next time something goes wrong, resist the urge to rush to blame. Slow down. Ask the better questions. Lead with both clarity and compassion.
Because in your hands, failure isn't something to fear — it's something to learn from. And that is leadership that lasts.

"When failure happens, it’s not about who’s at fault. It’s about what we can build better, together."